Ok...am I allowed to vent a little?? Of course I am, this in my blog.
Here I go.
I HATE this disease. I HATE it with such a passion. I HATE the fact that I see loved ones dying from it, my children suffering from it. I HATE it.
Why my kids. What are the chances that Brandon and I would meet and us both be CF carriers and no one else in our family have it or even know what it even is. I HATE it.
"Why us?" I ask a lot of the time. Why is it that we were chosen to have not one but 2 with this disease? I have to always remind myself that God knows we can handle it, and we have, but why?
WHY?
Why this disease whatsoever? What is the point of it? Why put so many innocent children's lives ( and I know adults too) at risk. All I see is children dying. I am pissed. I am hurt, I am mad for all the families that have lost their loved ones.
My kids are ok and I thank God everyday that they are. Maybe an extra antibiotic or two and extra treatments, but why mine Lord?
I HATE this disease.
Dear God,
I thank you for trusting Brandon and I with these 2 children of yours and trusting us enough that we will take care of them. I thank you Lord that you have kept them out of the hospital thus far this year, but it hurts to see other people go through loss. Please. DEAR GOD, just protect my children and keep them healthy. We trust you and have faith in you. Please be with all the ones I know and don't know and offer them comfort in any type of loss or trouble they may be going through. I know you are poweful. Just give the researches/doctors the knowhow Lord and bless us all with a cure. Not just some with a rare gene or certain type of gene, but everyone completely. Please Lord God Almighty, just protect my/YOUR children.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
My love goes out to all those who are fighting. Young and old. May you know that the Lord is watching over you and will protect you and give you peace.
Still, in the end in my heart, I HATE this disease.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Easy...No, really?
So it's almost 10:30 here and I am still up when usually in bed. I need to put some things in writing.
This is such a great way to "out" some things I have been thinking/feeling.
Serenity started with a cough yesterday and this morning woke up with her voice hoarse. I have never heard her voice like this. Hunter, yes. Serenity, no. Wasn't sure what was going on. As I have posted in the past, things that go on with kids with CF, or any other condition, is always a "guessing game". So, I called her Dr. and was so surprised to actually get ahold of her nurse and not her voicemail this time. Explained to her what was going on and she was not too worried about the hoarseness as it was just a sign of her vocal chords being inflammed. As far as the coughing, she wants to give it one more day before putting her on antibiotics. Bumped her up to 3 treatments a day, so I figured, eh, I'll do Hunter too. Going good.
Then I posted on Facebook, my second resource for info with all the great CF friends I have, wanting to get advice from them. One told me it could be allergies or stress. So I decided to give her a dose of Zyrtec and it has actually help.
Allergies?
Seriously?
Something that easy? No way!!! Nothing has EVER been that easy. It seemed to help and I guess the true tell all will be tomorrow morning when she wakes up.
I have always been used to the hundreds of calls to her Dr. "This isn't working", or "This just doesn't seem right", but it seems like it worked. Thank you Lord and thank you to all my friends who offered the great advice.
If it does seem to continue, tomorrow I will get her on an antibiotic just as precaution.
I love my CF Family, and my friends (Emily), and thank you all for being there for me when I've needed you the most.
This is such a great way to "out" some things I have been thinking/feeling.
Serenity started with a cough yesterday and this morning woke up with her voice hoarse. I have never heard her voice like this. Hunter, yes. Serenity, no. Wasn't sure what was going on. As I have posted in the past, things that go on with kids with CF, or any other condition, is always a "guessing game". So, I called her Dr. and was so surprised to actually get ahold of her nurse and not her voicemail this time. Explained to her what was going on and she was not too worried about the hoarseness as it was just a sign of her vocal chords being inflammed. As far as the coughing, she wants to give it one more day before putting her on antibiotics. Bumped her up to 3 treatments a day, so I figured, eh, I'll do Hunter too. Going good.
Then I posted on Facebook, my second resource for info with all the great CF friends I have, wanting to get advice from them. One told me it could be allergies or stress. So I decided to give her a dose of Zyrtec and it has actually help.
Allergies?
Seriously?
Something that easy? No way!!! Nothing has EVER been that easy. It seemed to help and I guess the true tell all will be tomorrow morning when she wakes up.
I have always been used to the hundreds of calls to her Dr. "This isn't working", or "This just doesn't seem right", but it seems like it worked. Thank you Lord and thank you to all my friends who offered the great advice.
If it does seem to continue, tomorrow I will get her on an antibiotic just as precaution.
I love my CF Family, and my friends (Emily), and thank you all for being there for me when I've needed you the most.
Promise To My Kids
My promise to my kids
I've loved you since before you were born
I've loved you through all the trials and tribulations we have gone through together
Surgeries, needles, hospitals, Dr's beyond Dr's, the numerous medications
I never knew what true love and dedication was until I became a mom
A mom to not only one child with a special need, but two
A mom has duties and responsibilites to uphold and to give you all that you need to get through each day
Some moms have a little more to do
My promise to you:
I promise to always show you love
I promise to always give you an extra hug and kiss throughout the day
I promise to protect you with all my being
I promise to be there for you when you need me
I promise to discipline, to teach you right from wrong
I promise to always show you love
I promise to teach you about Faith, and the Lord
I promise to fight the fight with you
I promise to give you the best life I possibly can
I promise to show you love
I promise to be the best mom I can be
To my kids that know I love them but will they ever know how deep that love really goes. You are my life and my everything. Love my babies!!!
I've loved you since before you were born
I've loved you through all the trials and tribulations we have gone through together
Surgeries, needles, hospitals, Dr's beyond Dr's, the numerous medications
I never knew what true love and dedication was until I became a mom
A mom to not only one child with a special need, but two
A mom has duties and responsibilites to uphold and to give you all that you need to get through each day
Some moms have a little more to do
My promise to you:
I promise to always show you love
I promise to always give you an extra hug and kiss throughout the day
I promise to protect you with all my being
I promise to be there for you when you need me
I promise to discipline, to teach you right from wrong
I promise to always show you love
I promise to teach you about Faith, and the Lord
I promise to fight the fight with you
I promise to give you the best life I possibly can
I promise to show you love
I promise to be the best mom I can be
To my kids that know I love them but will they ever know how deep that love really goes. You are my life and my everything. Love my babies!!!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Small World--Looks CAN Be Deceiving
Thursday night hockey last week went ok. Despite the fact Hunter got sick, we really got to know his coach. His coach wanted to know a little bit more about the kids. We told him that both of them have CF. He looks at us like "What's that?". I thought, let me tell you. Started to explain to him what CF does, that no one on either side of Brandons nor my side of the family has ever had this disease. Went into depth about medications, hospital stays, etc.
He looks me in the eyes and tells me that by looking at them, you can't tell. They are running and playing around as we are talking. I look over at my kids and I tell him, you can't tell but it is very indeed there.
I work my butt off to keep these kids healthy and to keep them in shape. Went into telling him our daily routines, the time consuming treatments to keep the mucous that they have a hard time getting up, from sticking to their lungs. It was a great opportunity to inform and get another person to become aware of this disease.
Come to find out, their coach who is only 25, has Crohn's Disease and Rheumotoid Arthritis. He went into how he was diagnosed at 18 years old and has to take medications himself to help him with his digestion. Different diseases, but a lot in common. He went on to tell us how he takes 9-10 meds a day for his conditions.
He understands in a way. No one can completely understand CF though unless they are going through it themself or taking care of someone with it.
He almost wanted to go easier on them because of him knowing now. I told him "No". They need to be worked, they need the discipline with hockey and listening to him. Don't go easy on them just because they have CF. They are like any other child and I don't want them to be treated any differently. Maybe more water breaks but they need the excercise to keep their lungs working strong.
My kiddos may have CF...but you know what? They are as human as any other person without it. Never, ever, judge someone by their looks. You never know what THEIR story is.
He looks me in the eyes and tells me that by looking at them, you can't tell. They are running and playing around as we are talking. I look over at my kids and I tell him, you can't tell but it is very indeed there.
I work my butt off to keep these kids healthy and to keep them in shape. Went into telling him our daily routines, the time consuming treatments to keep the mucous that they have a hard time getting up, from sticking to their lungs. It was a great opportunity to inform and get another person to become aware of this disease.
Come to find out, their coach who is only 25, has Crohn's Disease and Rheumotoid Arthritis. He went into how he was diagnosed at 18 years old and has to take medications himself to help him with his digestion. Different diseases, but a lot in common. He went on to tell us how he takes 9-10 meds a day for his conditions.
He understands in a way. No one can completely understand CF though unless they are going through it themself or taking care of someone with it.
He almost wanted to go easier on them because of him knowing now. I told him "No". They need to be worked, they need the discipline with hockey and listening to him. Don't go easy on them just because they have CF. They are like any other child and I don't want them to be treated any differently. Maybe more water breaks but they need the excercise to keep their lungs working strong.
My kiddos may have CF...but you know what? They are as human as any other person without it. Never, ever, judge someone by their looks. You never know what THEIR story is.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Anything...
Anything to make my kiddos happy. As of today, and I am living for TODAY, life is good. My kids are healthy, going to the air show tomorrow, and spending time with hubby tonight. What more can I ask for. More to post tomorrow as today was none the less "normal". Besides the treaments and the meds. Love all my family and friends.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Sleep Tight Goodnite Bite
My daughters little saying as she goes to bed. She took it from Sleep Tight Don't Let the Bed Bugs bite! Last night was quite the night. Brandon had to work the midnight shift so he would be able to go to the Rockford Air Show with us this afternoon. A very long night for me to start. Laid Ren down, then Hunter. Then Ren again and then Hunter again...and again. I felt like I was going back and forth all night. Until 11 when I went in to check in on them and they were sound to sleep.
When you look at your child as they are sleeping, I swear you see them in a whole new way. So peaceful and innocent. Dreaming princess dreams and flying fighter jets. It seems as if all the wrong they did during the day didn't even matter anymore. My kids are tucked in. Safe and sound.
The kids have been quite the handful lately and makes it even harder when Brandon is working and I have to do it by myself. It makes me, honestly, give single moms out there a lot more credit. Especially if they take care of little ones at home with a condition.
I am just thankful that this is a very rare thing that I do it by myself and I do have the help of Brandon. Just for sanity sake at night time.
I've learned to kinda keep that saying, "Don't sweat the small stuff" in tha back of my mind. Things that happen during the day are bound to happen. But at night, when you see your little ones sleeping so peaceful and sound, I just thank God that they are here at home in there beds, snug as a bug.
As my daughter would say after tucking her in, sleep tight goodnite bite. Life IS good.
When you look at your child as they are sleeping, I swear you see them in a whole new way. So peaceful and innocent. Dreaming princess dreams and flying fighter jets. It seems as if all the wrong they did during the day didn't even matter anymore. My kids are tucked in. Safe and sound.
The kids have been quite the handful lately and makes it even harder when Brandon is working and I have to do it by myself. It makes me, honestly, give single moms out there a lot more credit. Especially if they take care of little ones at home with a condition.
I am just thankful that this is a very rare thing that I do it by myself and I do have the help of Brandon. Just for sanity sake at night time.
I've learned to kinda keep that saying, "Don't sweat the small stuff" in tha back of my mind. Things that happen during the day are bound to happen. But at night, when you see your little ones sleeping so peaceful and sound, I just thank God that they are here at home in there beds, snug as a bug.
As my daughter would say after tucking her in, sleep tight goodnite bite. Life IS good.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
The Guessing Game
Yesterday was going good. Kids feeling great, no belly aches-no headaches. We left for hockey practice last night and when we got into the van after the kids were done, Hunter started to get sick. His face was flush, he was sweating profusely, complaining of his belly hurting now and his head. It's like, What the heck happened?
All through hockey he was fine.
Had to pull over twice to let him out of the van, due to the bag we had in there having a HOLE IN THE BOTTOM!! Smart huh? Check the bottom of puke bag before it's needed.
So we get home and he's no better. He goes to lay on the couch and daddy takes the stethoscope and makes sure he hears movement in his belly to make sure he's not getting backed up. He falls asleep on the couch, no dinner, nothing. Not normal for Hunter. Exhausted.
We take him up and lay him down. He throws up again. What is going on?? All these thoughts race through your mind.
Why is he throwing up? IS he getting backed up? Is he sick with a bug? Why did he shake and get all sweaty? Why was he getting headaches every day?
It's all a guessing game, especially when your child is just crying and complaining of everything hurting. Trying to figure out what is going on so you can help.
He woke up this morning, belly still a little upset. He ate very little breakfast but was able to keep it down. Have the windows open-fresh air.
Now...no belly and no headache. Poof gone.
I'm not complaining, praise God, but the heck happened?? Was it the air conditioning? Was he overheated?
Hmmm... the guessing will continue .
All through hockey he was fine.
Had to pull over twice to let him out of the van, due to the bag we had in there having a HOLE IN THE BOTTOM!! Smart huh? Check the bottom of puke bag before it's needed.
So we get home and he's no better. He goes to lay on the couch and daddy takes the stethoscope and makes sure he hears movement in his belly to make sure he's not getting backed up. He falls asleep on the couch, no dinner, nothing. Not normal for Hunter. Exhausted.
We take him up and lay him down. He throws up again. What is going on?? All these thoughts race through your mind.
Why is he throwing up? IS he getting backed up? Is he sick with a bug? Why did he shake and get all sweaty? Why was he getting headaches every day?
It's all a guessing game, especially when your child is just crying and complaining of everything hurting. Trying to figure out what is going on so you can help.
He woke up this morning, belly still a little upset. He ate very little breakfast but was able to keep it down. Have the windows open-fresh air.
Now...no belly and no headache. Poof gone.
I'm not complaining, praise God, but the heck happened?? Was it the air conditioning? Was he overheated?
Hmmm... the guessing will continue .
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
CF Won't Run Our Life!!--Being Grateful
I think it's just busy, busy, busy and maybe it's getting to me? I don't know. I could just crawl into bed and sleep for a while. I can't stand not being busy though. It, in a weird way, keeps me going and going.
Kids are doing treatments now and as I look at them, I love them so much. I am grateful that my kids are healthy. I am grateful that my kids aren't in the hospital. I am just grateful to have them to hold and cuddle and give kisses to. I am grateful to be able to discipline them. I am just grateful that God has blessed me with these kids. The CF could always be worse for them and they could be going through rough times, but I am so grateful that even though we have times where we do have to go to Childrens or bumping up the lax, that it doesnt last for too long. It's able to be controlled.
Growing up I always imagined having children. Always saw healthy kids being born. Very rarely did I ever see any kids with any type of disability or disease. I thought that people just had healthy kids. I had always heard that being a mom was a hard job. But honestly, until you have a child with a disease that takes your whole day TO keep healthy and give meds so they can eat, no one will ever understand how hard it is for us moms who do this on a daily basis.
But to look at my kids, I see them. I don't see CF. I know it's there, but we are fighting it and my kids live a normal life. Just have to re-adjust it for some things that's all.
There will be a cure one day and my kids will be cured. I know God is good and He does miracles. I thank God for keeping them healthy and pray that He continues to watch over them.
I could have lost both my children-Hunter once as well as Ren. My kids are miracles and a true gift from God. Thank you Lord for trusting me to be the mom You know I am and to take care of your children.
Kids are doing treatments now and as I look at them, I love them so much. I am grateful that my kids are healthy. I am grateful that my kids aren't in the hospital. I am just grateful to have them to hold and cuddle and give kisses to. I am grateful to be able to discipline them. I am just grateful that God has blessed me with these kids. The CF could always be worse for them and they could be going through rough times, but I am so grateful that even though we have times where we do have to go to Childrens or bumping up the lax, that it doesnt last for too long. It's able to be controlled.
Growing up I always imagined having children. Always saw healthy kids being born. Very rarely did I ever see any kids with any type of disability or disease. I thought that people just had healthy kids. I had always heard that being a mom was a hard job. But honestly, until you have a child with a disease that takes your whole day TO keep healthy and give meds so they can eat, no one will ever understand how hard it is for us moms who do this on a daily basis.
But to look at my kids, I see them. I don't see CF. I know it's there, but we are fighting it and my kids live a normal life. Just have to re-adjust it for some things that's all.
There will be a cure one day and my kids will be cured. I know God is good and He does miracles. I thank God for keeping them healthy and pray that He continues to watch over them.
I could have lost both my children-Hunter once as well as Ren. My kids are miracles and a true gift from God. Thank you Lord for trusting me to be the mom You know I am and to take care of your children.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Moms Are So Busy
So yesterday was a good day. For the most part. Hunter has been complaining of an awful lot of headaches and his belly hurting. My first thought...getting backed up. His headache got better but his belly was hurting all day until this morning.
Last night, the kids had hockey practice, their first one-with a personal coach. What a difference it made. They are going twice a week now. Our next session is tomorrow night. They are so excited.
But this morning, Hunter slept until 8:45, which is anything but normal. He's an early riser. I was going to give him until 9am to wake up but he woke within that time. Being that he still had not stooled, but only once yesterday, I loaded him with lax today. It's helped and he feels so much better.
When the kiddos were on antibiotics, I backed them off of the lax because it caused diarrhea. They were doing good for a while after they finished the antis but I know now, that they need to be at what they were before. They both are on 3 capfuls of miralax a day.
Sometimes, which is really hard for me, Hunter pretends he is sick. I'm guessing for attention. Ok, so with a mom that isn't dealing with their kids having a disease, it may not be as big of deal. But, you dont do that when you have CF. Brandon and I explained the story of the "Boy Who Cried Wolf", he got it and understood it, but how does a mom know if their kid is telling the truth? From a simple headache to seriously being under the weather.
So, I just treat it as though he is telling the truth and give him what he needs of course. But now I see Ren, pulling some things. Whenever Hunter needs tylenol, she all of a sudden gets a headache or something hurts, or her tummy hurts. It really is hard.
Last night, the kids had hockey practice, their first one-with a personal coach. What a difference it made. They are going twice a week now. Our next session is tomorrow night. They are so excited.
But this morning, Hunter slept until 8:45, which is anything but normal. He's an early riser. I was going to give him until 9am to wake up but he woke within that time. Being that he still had not stooled, but only once yesterday, I loaded him with lax today. It's helped and he feels so much better.
When the kiddos were on antibiotics, I backed them off of the lax because it caused diarrhea. They were doing good for a while after they finished the antis but I know now, that they need to be at what they were before. They both are on 3 capfuls of miralax a day.
Sometimes, which is really hard for me, Hunter pretends he is sick. I'm guessing for attention. Ok, so with a mom that isn't dealing with their kids having a disease, it may not be as big of deal. But, you dont do that when you have CF. Brandon and I explained the story of the "Boy Who Cried Wolf", he got it and understood it, but how does a mom know if their kid is telling the truth? From a simple headache to seriously being under the weather.
So, I just treat it as though he is telling the truth and give him what he needs of course. But now I see Ren, pulling some things. Whenever Hunter needs tylenol, she all of a sudden gets a headache or something hurts, or her tummy hurts. It really is hard.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
What a Wonderful Day!!
Today started out like any other Sunday. Wake up early, get breakfast in for the kiddos and us, take showers, and go to church. Today seemed somewhat different though. Looked so forward to going to church and wondering what the topic was going to be about today.
"What Lies Within". Being hurt and damaged by people but being able to cut the rope, forgive, and move on with my life even if that means the person that caused the damage never took responsibilty.
Quoted by Ralph Waldo Emmerson "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
Being damaged happens to everyone, by someone or something. It just depends on how you deal with the situation and let go. I learned today that if I/we are damaged, we can justify the "no relationship" with that person. But to forgive that person is the main obstacle that I have to deal with. Very touching and will be reading up on verses 2 Samuel 13-19 this week that tells about King David and his family. Very weird as it is almost like a soap opera, but it's amazing of how things back in that time, are related to every day life now.
After church we came home, ate lunch, and my parents came over. It was so great to go shopping with my mom and Serenity while the boys stayed home. Bought a lot!! Brandon just smiled. I don't get to do it very often so when I do, I go ALL out. I at least buy something for him. :) LOL
Everyone is exhausted after today. I think it will be an early night. Brandon just took the kids to WalMart to pick up a few more things for this week and I actually get alone time. It's so quiet, it's almost weird. But I like this. I need this time. More.
Kids start their personal hockey training tomorrow night. Mondays and Wednesdays for both kids. Gonna get expensive, but honestly, I dont care. It's something they love and something they are good at and I can't wait to see them grow. Excited about that starting.
Tomorrow starts a whole new week and we will see what comes upon us. I know that with the Lord by my side, it's going to be a great week!!
"What Lies Within". Being hurt and damaged by people but being able to cut the rope, forgive, and move on with my life even if that means the person that caused the damage never took responsibilty.
Quoted by Ralph Waldo Emmerson "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
Being damaged happens to everyone, by someone or something. It just depends on how you deal with the situation and let go. I learned today that if I/we are damaged, we can justify the "no relationship" with that person. But to forgive that person is the main obstacle that I have to deal with. Very touching and will be reading up on verses 2 Samuel 13-19 this week that tells about King David and his family. Very weird as it is almost like a soap opera, but it's amazing of how things back in that time, are related to every day life now.
After church we came home, ate lunch, and my parents came over. It was so great to go shopping with my mom and Serenity while the boys stayed home. Bought a lot!! Brandon just smiled. I don't get to do it very often so when I do, I go ALL out. I at least buy something for him. :) LOL
Everyone is exhausted after today. I think it will be an early night. Brandon just took the kids to WalMart to pick up a few more things for this week and I actually get alone time. It's so quiet, it's almost weird. But I like this. I need this time. More.
Kids start their personal hockey training tomorrow night. Mondays and Wednesdays for both kids. Gonna get expensive, but honestly, I dont care. It's something they love and something they are good at and I can't wait to see them grow. Excited about that starting.
Tomorrow starts a whole new week and we will see what comes upon us. I know that with the Lord by my side, it's going to be a great week!!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Money, Money, Money
Does it ever stop. Having to spend money. Um...NO!!! Our computer, which is only 3 years old and a really nice one, has been going cukoo on us. Shutting down while I am typing or doing whatever on it. Been happening for a couple of weeks now, and it was either throw the friggin thing out the window or take it to Best Buy to see what's going on. So...we opted for Best Buy. They said that the motherboard is bad and when that goes completely, the computer will be useless. Great huh. $650.00 on a computer and it's just a matter of time. Something to do with the surges. Could have been the storms. So now we are computer shopping. Most likely for a laptop instead of desktop. I NEED the computer as I do it for CF things and the kids use it for school. Not what we were expecting to hear today.
So, it's always like one thing after another. When does it stop, does it ever.
Brandon and I made it through our first week of our low carb diet and I have to say it went well. The weekends are the hardest part. Just a lot of "extra" meat, which isn't cheap, to have on this diet. So, we re-budget the budget. It's worth our health.
My discipline lately on the kids has been pretty good. We believe in spankings in our family. I grew up with them (A LOT I may add) and so did Brandon. The whole timeout thing and 1-2-3 thing we tried, but has not worked. So, I resorted to what we grew up with--spankings.
They are listening better, still have their moments...they are kids.
All, in all it's been good.
I just hate spending our savings on things that were supposed to last years. It's so frustrating because you never know what the future will hold. That's where faith comes in huh? God has always taken care of us before and has ALWAYS made sure we get and have what we need. God Bless!!
So, it's always like one thing after another. When does it stop, does it ever.
Brandon and I made it through our first week of our low carb diet and I have to say it went well. The weekends are the hardest part. Just a lot of "extra" meat, which isn't cheap, to have on this diet. So, we re-budget the budget. It's worth our health.
My discipline lately on the kids has been pretty good. We believe in spankings in our family. I grew up with them (A LOT I may add) and so did Brandon. The whole timeout thing and 1-2-3 thing we tried, but has not worked. So, I resorted to what we grew up with--spankings.
They are listening better, still have their moments...they are kids.
All, in all it's been good.
I just hate spending our savings on things that were supposed to last years. It's so frustrating because you never know what the future will hold. That's where faith comes in huh? God has always taken care of us before and has ALWAYS made sure we get and have what we need. God Bless!!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
The Mom In Me Has Come Out
Ok, so I am beginning to blog more personal and about my feelings about life, kids, etc.
So here we go.
As a mom of 2 children with CF, I always thought I would never treat or raise my kids differently than any other parent to their child. I was doing so good for a while until I saw that what I was doing was going in the wrong direction. I always, and still do discipline my kids. But I have seen that they have been spoiled by me mostly. I give in a lot. A lot of times, I will take the kids to the store and buy them a toy for no reason, no more than $3 but they have gotten so used to it that they expect it now. When my parents have the kids overnight, we go to pick them up the next day, and because they were "good" they expect a toy of some sort, a "prize". This last time we didnt get them one.
I have come to realize that maybe subconciously, I WAS treating them differently and not knowing it. I would discipline but maybe not to the extreme to where they would actually "learn" from their mistake. I would buy them things without every imagining they would ever "expect" it from us or even my parents.
I guess, deep in the back of my mind, I know I could have lost my 2 kids many times but I still have them here. I guess I take in all the stories of parents losing their little ones at such an early age. I guess I just want them to live having the best and anything they wanted. But...it's not the right way.
I have come to realize that disrespect from my children is not teaching them right. I have learned that them "wanting" all the time, toys and anything else they see, and buying it for them doesnt teach them anything.
I am dealing with this not only with Hunter who is 6 but Serenity who is 3. Ren is the worst, I think. Not only because she's a girl, but I've taught her some things, like shopping and buying and having what you want.
Reality has set in this week with the kids. I can't blame anyone but myself for their actions. It's not their fault. They act on what they are taught.
My kids will know discipline. They will know how to be thankful. They will work for anything they want.
I'm sure it will still be in the back of my mind...but my kids are still here, they are so healthy, AND they will be around for a LONG time. I need to teach them the right way, not the way as to giving and giving because they have CF. They are kids, they are "normal" in my eyes. They deserve to be taught like any other child and that is what I am going to do.
So, I have started the buckeling down this week and the kids are NOT happy. I guess what I am most tired of is the disrespect. The not listening. Things they know that are right from wrong. Things are changing.
We are home all the time. Homeschooling, CF therapies, and just regular kid stuff, we are always together. They have their Sunday school and they have their hockey. They have their time with others.
So, tomorrow is a new day. I pray for strength and patience from God and for him to give me what I need to make sure these kids are thankful for every day they have.
So here we go.
As a mom of 2 children with CF, I always thought I would never treat or raise my kids differently than any other parent to their child. I was doing so good for a while until I saw that what I was doing was going in the wrong direction. I always, and still do discipline my kids. But I have seen that they have been spoiled by me mostly. I give in a lot. A lot of times, I will take the kids to the store and buy them a toy for no reason, no more than $3 but they have gotten so used to it that they expect it now. When my parents have the kids overnight, we go to pick them up the next day, and because they were "good" they expect a toy of some sort, a "prize". This last time we didnt get them one.
I have come to realize that maybe subconciously, I WAS treating them differently and not knowing it. I would discipline but maybe not to the extreme to where they would actually "learn" from their mistake. I would buy them things without every imagining they would ever "expect" it from us or even my parents.
I guess, deep in the back of my mind, I know I could have lost my 2 kids many times but I still have them here. I guess I take in all the stories of parents losing their little ones at such an early age. I guess I just want them to live having the best and anything they wanted. But...it's not the right way.
I have come to realize that disrespect from my children is not teaching them right. I have learned that them "wanting" all the time, toys and anything else they see, and buying it for them doesnt teach them anything.
I am dealing with this not only with Hunter who is 6 but Serenity who is 3. Ren is the worst, I think. Not only because she's a girl, but I've taught her some things, like shopping and buying and having what you want.
Reality has set in this week with the kids. I can't blame anyone but myself for their actions. It's not their fault. They act on what they are taught.
My kids will know discipline. They will know how to be thankful. They will work for anything they want.
I'm sure it will still be in the back of my mind...but my kids are still here, they are so healthy, AND they will be around for a LONG time. I need to teach them the right way, not the way as to giving and giving because they have CF. They are kids, they are "normal" in my eyes. They deserve to be taught like any other child and that is what I am going to do.
So, I have started the buckeling down this week and the kids are NOT happy. I guess what I am most tired of is the disrespect. The not listening. Things they know that are right from wrong. Things are changing.
We are home all the time. Homeschooling, CF therapies, and just regular kid stuff, we are always together. They have their Sunday school and they have their hockey. They have their time with others.
So, tomorrow is a new day. I pray for strength and patience from God and for him to give me what I need to make sure these kids are thankful for every day they have.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Eating Healthy With 2 Children That Have CF
Sounds impossible right? Wrong. I swear by the low carb diet that Brandon and I are doing.
I hit my peek with weight. I cannot possibly, in my eyes, gain anymore. Nothing is worst than going to a clothing store, picking out a pair of pants, and none fits. Something had to be done.
Having 2 children with CF, honestly got the best of me this past year. I think, most in part, by homeschooling and the kids being home ALL day with me and me fixing their meals. A munch here, a munch there. Oh, did it all add up. The weekends are the worst though, and thing will be our first weekend on the carb diet. We have our hopes set high and know we can accomplish this.
As any parent with CF knows, the fattier the better. McDonalds was actually on our weekly meal list as well as ordering pizza over the weekend and any other day during the week I just didn't feel like cooking. I am doing this for me now. My kids will always get the things they need, I just do it in a different way. 20 carbs a day, exercise. I'm ready to lose the weight. 40 pounds and I will be on top of the world. I have to be happy with myself and within myself and lately I have just felt like a huge oompaloomp. I want my energy back, I want to be able to run and have fun with the kids without getting out of breath. I want it so bad that I am going to get it. I can see it's in reaching distance.
I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME AND NOT GET LOST IN THE WHOLE CF THING AND STILL TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AND FEEL GOOD.
I don't anyone to get the wrong idea. My kids are still going to have McD's and fried foods and veggies/fruits. But I dont have to. I've come to realize that.
For me, this is an eye awakening. I do and do for the kids but never do anything to take care of me. Feel kinda selfish in a way. I know that I want to be around for a long time...if anything FOR my kids. Diabetes runs so high in my family. My mom is going through it right now and has lost so much weight on this diet and does not take any medications for her diabetes because she took chrage of her life. About time I do the same for myself.
If anyone wants to know more about the low-carb diet, I would be more than willing to share with you. It's not a carrots and celery diet by no means.
I have to stay around. I'll be dipped if I let food be in control of me. I am in control...I have taken control, finally.
I hit my peek with weight. I cannot possibly, in my eyes, gain anymore. Nothing is worst than going to a clothing store, picking out a pair of pants, and none fits. Something had to be done.
Having 2 children with CF, honestly got the best of me this past year. I think, most in part, by homeschooling and the kids being home ALL day with me and me fixing their meals. A munch here, a munch there. Oh, did it all add up. The weekends are the worst though, and thing will be our first weekend on the carb diet. We have our hopes set high and know we can accomplish this.
As any parent with CF knows, the fattier the better. McDonalds was actually on our weekly meal list as well as ordering pizza over the weekend and any other day during the week I just didn't feel like cooking. I am doing this for me now. My kids will always get the things they need, I just do it in a different way. 20 carbs a day, exercise. I'm ready to lose the weight. 40 pounds and I will be on top of the world. I have to be happy with myself and within myself and lately I have just felt like a huge oompaloomp. I want my energy back, I want to be able to run and have fun with the kids without getting out of breath. I want it so bad that I am going to get it. I can see it's in reaching distance.
I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME AND NOT GET LOST IN THE WHOLE CF THING AND STILL TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AND FEEL GOOD.
I don't anyone to get the wrong idea. My kids are still going to have McD's and fried foods and veggies/fruits. But I dont have to. I've come to realize that.
For me, this is an eye awakening. I do and do for the kids but never do anything to take care of me. Feel kinda selfish in a way. I know that I want to be around for a long time...if anything FOR my kids. Diabetes runs so high in my family. My mom is going through it right now and has lost so much weight on this diet and does not take any medications for her diabetes because she took chrage of her life. About time I do the same for myself.
If anyone wants to know more about the low-carb diet, I would be more than willing to share with you. It's not a carrots and celery diet by no means.
I have to stay around. I'll be dipped if I let food be in control of me. I am in control...I have taken control, finally.
Monday, July 19, 2010
A Total Lifestyle Change
So, today began Brandon's and my Low Carb diet and I have to say....I love it. It's a little strict but to see the outcome of it and the loss of weight I (we) will have, I can't wait. Eggs and the choice of bacon for breakfast, tortilla with chiken lunchmeat and cheese, tomato, and lettuce, and grilled chicken for dinner with a salad. Have to keep count of all the carbs, and has to stay 20 or under and I'm so proud of myself for the first day!
I want to be around a long time for my children. I am their basic "do everything to stay healthy" lifeline. I am the one that calls drs. for appts., calls insurance, homeschools, and just be a mom to 2 kids. I want to lose at least 40 pounds and I know I can do it. I know Brandon can do it.
The support I have from my parents is great. They have been there with this diet and still will continue with it. A lifestyle change. It's been so hard to feed the kiddos the foods that they need, and anyone that knows anyone with CF, it's the BEST and the fattiest foods in the world.
Today was a good day, I can't complain.
I enjoy coming on here and blogging. Writing. Letting my feelings out. Don't we all need to do that?
As for Hunter and Ren, doing very well. I can't complain and by the grace of God they are still healthy. Praise God.
I want to be around a long time for my children. I am their basic "do everything to stay healthy" lifeline. I am the one that calls drs. for appts., calls insurance, homeschools, and just be a mom to 2 kids. I want to lose at least 40 pounds and I know I can do it. I know Brandon can do it.
The support I have from my parents is great. They have been there with this diet and still will continue with it. A lifestyle change. It's been so hard to feed the kiddos the foods that they need, and anyone that knows anyone with CF, it's the BEST and the fattiest foods in the world.
Today was a good day, I can't complain.
I enjoy coming on here and blogging. Writing. Letting my feelings out. Don't we all need to do that?
As for Hunter and Ren, doing very well. I can't complain and by the grace of God they are still healthy. Praise God.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Don't Get Lost In the Business Of Life
You think you have all the time in the world. You think that time is on your side. Time goes by so fast and before you know it, your kids have grown up so much you long to start it all over again. Hunter and Serenity got to spend Friday night with my parents and all day Saturday. Which in turn, allowed Brandon and I some much deserved alone time to just be together. It's so weird that when your kids are with you, you are in "parent mode", but when they are not and it's just you and hubby... It's more like "best friend" and just acting goofy mode.
Although most of the time over dinner was talk about the kids, never seems to fail, they are such a part of us that we can't just go one evening without talking about them.
Friday night we had a blast. We went to Chipotle and came home. Stayed up until about 1 or 2..which is super late for us, and had such a great time.
We went to pick the kids up at Nana and Papas that next day and it seemed like months since I saw them last. I missed them. They had such a great time and it gave my mom and dad some quality time with the kiddos.
We went to church today, and I wonder why we had never found this church before. It's our third time going and man, God is speaking to us. It's kinda funny because it's right across the street from where we used to go.
Tomorrow, Brandon and I are starting a low carb diet. Have seen so many people do it and lose so much weight. Especially my parent. I'm sorry, but my parents look good!!! I'm so proud of them. My mom has diabetes and she was so determined not to take meds/shots that she was going to lose the weight instead and she did it. My dad completely supported her on this and he lost a lot of weight as well. I just want to be healthy and have energy again. It's so hard being at home with the kids during the day and not munching here and there, but I'm ready to do this. Besides the fact that the kiddos have CF--high fatty foods and ALL the good stuff. Brandon and I kinda lost control for a while, but regaining it. Please pray for us as we go through this.
Tomorrow starts yet a whole new week. Excited to see what it brings us.
I guess what I was trying to say in the very beginning, is never lose who you are. If you are married and have children, you still need time for yourself to make you feel good and time with your hubby. Don't get lost in the business of life. Life is too short to worry about things that are already out of our control and God already has planned out.
Have fun with life and enjoy it!!
Although most of the time over dinner was talk about the kids, never seems to fail, they are such a part of us that we can't just go one evening without talking about them.
Friday night we had a blast. We went to Chipotle and came home. Stayed up until about 1 or 2..which is super late for us, and had such a great time.
We went to pick the kids up at Nana and Papas that next day and it seemed like months since I saw them last. I missed them. They had such a great time and it gave my mom and dad some quality time with the kiddos.
We went to church today, and I wonder why we had never found this church before. It's our third time going and man, God is speaking to us. It's kinda funny because it's right across the street from where we used to go.
Tomorrow, Brandon and I are starting a low carb diet. Have seen so many people do it and lose so much weight. Especially my parent. I'm sorry, but my parents look good!!! I'm so proud of them. My mom has diabetes and she was so determined not to take meds/shots that she was going to lose the weight instead and she did it. My dad completely supported her on this and he lost a lot of weight as well. I just want to be healthy and have energy again. It's so hard being at home with the kids during the day and not munching here and there, but I'm ready to do this. Besides the fact that the kiddos have CF--high fatty foods and ALL the good stuff. Brandon and I kinda lost control for a while, but regaining it. Please pray for us as we go through this.
Tomorrow starts yet a whole new week. Excited to see what it brings us.
I guess what I was trying to say in the very beginning, is never lose who you are. If you are married and have children, you still need time for yourself to make you feel good and time with your hubby. Don't get lost in the business of life. Life is too short to worry about things that are already out of our control and God already has planned out.
Have fun with life and enjoy it!!
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