Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Please, Please Lord give me a break!!

Starting yesterday morning I have felt this pain in my upper abdomen. A fullness and it hurts. So much has been going on these past few months, that I actually think I may have an ulcer. NEVER had one before in my life. I don't know what to do. Can't afford to go to the Dr. until Friday, if it's not any better, with the copay and meds I know he is going to prescribe, so I just have to wait it out and pray it gets better. I'm tired and just want this to stop. Stress starting in October has brought me down to a level where I think it's effecting my health. If it's not one thing it's another. It's a constant of being stressed and I don't know how to deal with stress. My hubby tells me, maybe yoga. Not a good time to think of that. I'm sorry, I just want something to help me at the moment. Not really into the whole yoga thing.
Ren has been having a consistent cough since Friday and it was today that I called up to her Dr. to get something prescribed for her. She is now on Bactrim...again. I hate this. I really do. I wish these kids could get "sick" without antis and Drs and everything but it's not that easy when the have CF. Whatever we have to do. That is another reason, why I have to wait to go to the Dr. myself. EVERYTHING is spent on these kids and I wouldn't have it any other way, don't get me wrong. I think I am just run down sometimes. Homeschooling, treatments, meds, "normal" mom stuff and wife duties. I would rather them be at home and me deal with this than go to school and every other week have a problem like before.
Hunter is doing well though. I almost feel he is taking advantage of me not feeling well, and dangit...it's not fair. It's not just him, it's Ren too. They just don't want to listen, ever. I can talk to them but it's like they look at me and blow it off. I've just had it. So tonight it's a "Family talk" night with daddy and Ren especially, is NOT looking forward to it. Maybe it's because I am home all day, every day with them. Daddy does something and puts something in them (fear) that they do NOT like. It's all talking, don't get me wrong, but it's the way he comes across that I don't.
Not too much of a post right now as I am not feeling so hot, but thought I needed to update. I pray that if I have an ulcer, that it's not bad and will just go away. I don't know if it will without going to the Drs. I don't want to spend $60 to go. I would rather use that and buy food for the next week. I'm just stubborn like that. But I know that I am everything to these kids and without me, it wouldn't function. So, I need to take care of myself, I know. I just pray I get better before Friday.


  1. Oh Erica ((hugs)) I don't know what to say, I wish had the words that will make everything seem better for you. What I can see is you are clearly exhausted. You sound like you could do with some serious time out, if only for a few hours. Is this an option for you, just to get some 'you' time and re-charge your batteries?

    As you know, you need to look after yourself.

    I really hope you haven't got an ulcer and with some serious chill out time, your pain will settle down. Also hope the bactrim kicks in for Ren.
    Kids know exactly when to push your buttons and do it very effectively.

    Please take care and I will keep you in our thoughts and send as much positivity your way.


  2. Thanks Gemma. Yeah I'm actually feeling a bit better today. Better than yesterday, so much better.
    A serious time out would be nice...possible? probably not. i'll be ok though just gonna start taking it a little easier around here.

    Hope all is well on your end!!


  3. That's good to hear :)

    Try find a few hours just for you, go for a walk and clear out all that our crazy lives drop on us.

    Take care and yep, we are all doing grand thank you xxx