Saturday, July 24, 2010

Money, Money, Money

Does it ever stop. Having to spend money. Um...NO!!! Our computer, which is only 3 years old and a really nice one, has been going cukoo on us. Shutting down while I am typing or doing whatever on it. Been happening for a couple of weeks now, and it was either throw the friggin thing out the window or take it to Best Buy to see what's going on. So...we opted for Best Buy. They said that the motherboard is bad and when that goes completely, the computer will be useless. Great huh. $650.00 on a computer and it's just a matter of time. Something to do with the surges. Could have been the storms. So now we are computer shopping. Most likely for a laptop instead of desktop. I NEED the computer as I do it for CF things and the kids use it for school. Not what we were expecting to hear today.
So, it's always like one thing after another. When does it stop, does it ever.
Brandon and I made it through our first week of our low carb diet and I have to say it went well. The weekends are the hardest part. Just a lot of "extra" meat, which isn't cheap, to have on this diet. So, we re-budget the budget. It's worth our health.
My discipline lately on the kids has been pretty good. We believe in spankings in our family. I grew up with them (A LOT I may add) and so did Brandon. The whole timeout thing and 1-2-3 thing we tried, but has not worked. So, I resorted to what we grew up with--spankings.
They are listening better, still have their moments...they are kids.
All, in all it's been good.
I just hate spending our savings on things that were supposed to last years. It's so frustrating because you never know what the future will hold. That's where faith comes in huh? God has always taken care of us before and has ALWAYS made sure we get and have what we need. God Bless!!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Mom In Me Has Come Out

Ok, so I am beginning to blog more personal and about my feelings about life, kids, etc.
So here we go.
As a mom of 2 children with CF, I always thought I would never treat or raise my kids differently than any other parent to their child. I was doing so good for a while until I saw that what I was doing was going in the wrong direction. I always, and still do discipline my kids. But I have seen that they have been spoiled by me mostly. I give in a lot. A lot of times, I will take the kids to the store and buy them a toy for no reason, no more than $3 but they have gotten so used to it that they expect it now. When my parents have the kids overnight, we go to pick them up the next day, and because they were "good" they expect a toy of some sort, a "prize". This last time we didnt get them one.
I have come to realize that maybe subconciously, I WAS treating them differently and not knowing it. I would discipline but maybe not to the extreme to where they would actually "learn" from their mistake. I would buy them things without every imagining they would ever "expect" it from us or even my parents.
I guess, deep in the back of my mind, I know I could have lost my 2 kids many times but I still have them here. I guess I take in all the stories of parents losing their little ones at such an early age. I guess I just want them to live having the best and anything they wanted.'s not the right way.
I have come to realize that disrespect from my children is not teaching them right. I have learned that them "wanting" all the time, toys and anything else they see, and buying it for them doesnt teach them anything.
I am dealing with this not only with Hunter who is 6 but Serenity who is 3. Ren is the worst, I think. Not only because she's a girl, but I've taught her some things, like shopping and buying and having what you want.
Reality has set in this week with the kids. I can't blame anyone but myself for their actions. It's not their fault. They act on what they are taught.
My kids will know discipline. They will know how to be thankful. They will work for anything they want.
I'm sure it will still be in the back of my mind...but my kids are still here, they are so healthy, AND they will be around for a LONG time. I need to teach them the right way, not the way as to giving and giving because they have CF. They are kids, they are "normal" in my eyes. They deserve to be taught like any other child and that is what I am going to do.
So, I have started the buckeling down this week and the kids are NOT happy. I guess what I am most tired of is the disrespect. The not listening. Things they know that are right from wrong. Things are changing.
We are home all the time. Homeschooling, CF therapies, and just regular kid stuff, we are always together. They have their Sunday school and they have their hockey. They have their time with others.
So, tomorrow is a new day. I pray for strength and patience from God and for him to give me what I need to make sure these kids are thankful for every day they have.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Eating Healthy With 2 Children That Have CF

Sounds impossible right? Wrong. I swear by the low carb diet that Brandon and I are doing.

I hit my peek with weight. I cannot possibly, in my eyes, gain anymore. Nothing is worst than going to a clothing store, picking out a pair of pants, and none fits. Something had to be done.

Having 2 children with CF, honestly got the best of me this past year. I think, most in part, by homeschooling and the kids being home ALL day with me and me fixing their meals. A munch here, a munch there. Oh, did it all add up. The weekends are the worst though, and thing will be our first weekend on the carb diet. We have our hopes set high and know we can accomplish this.

As any parent with CF knows, the fattier the better. McDonalds was actually on our weekly meal list as well as ordering pizza over the weekend and any other day during the week I just didn't feel like cooking. I am doing this for me now. My kids will always get the things they need, I just do it in a different way. 20 carbs a day, exercise. I'm ready to lose the weight. 40 pounds and I will be on top of the world. I have to be happy with myself and within myself and lately I have just felt like a huge oompaloomp. I want my energy back, I want to be able to run and have fun with the kids without getting out of breath. I want it so bad that I am going to get it. I can see it's in reaching distance.


I don't anyone to get the wrong idea. My kids are still going to have McD's and fried foods and veggies/fruits. But I dont have to. I've come to realize that.

For me, this is an eye awakening. I do and do for the kids but never do anything to take care of me. Feel kinda selfish in a way. I know that I want to be around for a long time...if anything FOR my kids. Diabetes runs so high in my family. My mom is going through it right now and has lost so much weight on this diet and does not take any medications for her diabetes because she took chrage of her life. About time I do the same for myself.

If anyone wants to know more about the low-carb diet, I would be more than willing to share with you. It's not a carrots and celery diet by no means.

I have to stay around. I'll be dipped if I let food be in control of me. I am in control...I have taken control, finally.

Monday, July 19, 2010

A Total Lifestyle Change

So, today began Brandon's and my Low Carb diet and I have to say....I love it. It's a little strict but to see the outcome of it and the loss of weight I (we) will have, I can't wait. Eggs and the choice of bacon for breakfast, tortilla with chiken lunchmeat and cheese, tomato, and lettuce, and grilled chicken for dinner with a salad. Have to keep count of all the carbs, and has to stay 20 or under and I'm so proud of myself for the first day!

I want to be around a long time for my children. I am their basic "do everything to stay healthy" lifeline. I am the one that calls drs. for appts., calls insurance, homeschools, and just be a mom to 2 kids. I want to lose at least 40 pounds and I know I can do it. I know Brandon can do it.

The support I have from my parents is great. They have been there with this diet and still will continue with it. A lifestyle change. It's been so hard to feed the kiddos the foods that they need, and anyone that knows anyone with CF, it's the BEST and the fattiest foods in the world.

Today was a good day, I can't complain.

I enjoy coming on here and blogging. Writing. Letting my feelings out. Don't we all need to do that?

As for Hunter and Ren, doing very well. I can't complain and by the grace of God they are still healthy. Praise God.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Don't Get Lost In the Business Of Life

You think you have all the time in the world. You think that time is on your side. Time goes by so fast and before you know it, your kids have grown up so much you long to start it all over again. Hunter and Serenity got to spend Friday night with my parents and all day Saturday. Which in turn, allowed Brandon and I some much deserved alone time to just be together. It's so weird that when your kids are with you, you are in "parent mode", but when they are not and it's just you and hubby... It's more like "best friend" and just acting goofy mode.

Although most of the time over dinner was talk about the kids, never seems to fail, they are such a part of us that we can't just go one evening without talking about them.
Friday night we had a blast. We went to Chipotle and came home. Stayed up until about 1 or 2..which is super late for us, and had such a great time.

We went to pick the kids up at Nana and Papas that next day and it seemed like months since I saw them last. I missed them. They had such a great time and it gave my mom and dad some quality time with the kiddos.

We went to church today, and I wonder why we had never found this church before. It's our third time going and man, God is speaking to us. It's kinda funny because it's right across the street from where we used to go.

Tomorrow, Brandon and I are starting a low carb diet. Have seen so many people do it and lose so much weight. Especially my parent. I'm sorry, but my parents look good!!! I'm so proud of them. My mom has diabetes and she was so determined not to take meds/shots that she was going to lose the weight instead and she did it. My dad completely supported her on this and he lost a lot of weight as well. I just want to be healthy and have energy again. It's so hard being at home with the kids during the day and not munching here and there, but I'm ready to do this. Besides the fact that the kiddos have CF--high fatty foods and ALL the good stuff. Brandon and I kinda lost control for a while, but regaining it. Please pray for us as we go through this.

Tomorrow starts yet a whole new week. Excited to see what it brings us.

I guess what I was trying to say in the very beginning, is never lose who you are. If you are married and have children, you still need time for yourself to make you feel good and time with your hubby. Don't get lost in the business of life. Life is too short to worry about things that are already out of our control and God already has planned out.

Have fun with life and enjoy it!!