Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Mom In Me Has Come Out

Ok, so I am beginning to blog more personal and about my feelings about life, kids, etc.
So here we go.
As a mom of 2 children with CF, I always thought I would never treat or raise my kids differently than any other parent to their child. I was doing so good for a while until I saw that what I was doing was going in the wrong direction. I always, and still do discipline my kids. But I have seen that they have been spoiled by me mostly. I give in a lot. A lot of times, I will take the kids to the store and buy them a toy for no reason, no more than $3 but they have gotten so used to it that they expect it now. When my parents have the kids overnight, we go to pick them up the next day, and because they were "good" they expect a toy of some sort, a "prize". This last time we didnt get them one.
I have come to realize that maybe subconciously, I WAS treating them differently and not knowing it. I would discipline but maybe not to the extreme to where they would actually "learn" from their mistake. I would buy them things without every imagining they would ever "expect" it from us or even my parents.
I guess, deep in the back of my mind, I know I could have lost my 2 kids many times but I still have them here. I guess I take in all the stories of parents losing their little ones at such an early age. I guess I just want them to live having the best and anything they wanted. But...it's not the right way.
I have come to realize that disrespect from my children is not teaching them right. I have learned that them "wanting" all the time, toys and anything else they see, and buying it for them doesnt teach them anything.
I am dealing with this not only with Hunter who is 6 but Serenity who is 3. Ren is the worst, I think. Not only because she's a girl, but I've taught her some things, like shopping and buying and having what you want.
Reality has set in this week with the kids. I can't blame anyone but myself for their actions. It's not their fault. They act on what they are taught.
My kids will know discipline. They will know how to be thankful. They will work for anything they want.
I'm sure it will still be in the back of my mind...but my kids are still here, they are so healthy, AND they will be around for a LONG time. I need to teach them the right way, not the way as to giving and giving because they have CF. They are kids, they are "normal" in my eyes. They deserve to be taught like any other child and that is what I am going to do.
So, I have started the buckeling down this week and the kids are NOT happy. I guess what I am most tired of is the disrespect. The not listening. Things they know that are right from wrong. Things are changing.
We are home all the time. Homeschooling, CF therapies, and just regular kid stuff, we are always together. They have their Sunday school and they have their hockey. They have their time with others.
So, tomorrow is a new day. I pray for strength and patience from God and for him to give me what I need to make sure these kids are thankful for every day they have.

2 comments:

  1. I too tend to find my self doing the same thing with Courtney. One day my oldest told my mom she was the step sister and Courtney was the princess, I can say in the last few months my sweet Courtney has a big attitude and it doesn't help that she cry's if you look at her wrong, like almost a month ago she was told to go to bed and my husband has been telling her to go to bed and finally he had a enough and said damn it go to bed she started crying and so I asked her what was wrong and of course with a attitude she said my name is damn it, I had to turn my head and laugh. Sorry that I got off topic but I am glad I am not the only one that is finding my self treating my child with CF differently.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are definately not the only one. I just want to know how to go about doing this. Giving them what they need but not overdoing it to where they are spoiled because of the CF. I'm having a hard time finding a medium between the 2. Aaaargh. I guess it doesnt help that Serenity's nickname is princess huh? lol

    ReplyDelete